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Author: Tabitha Stevens Black
Title: Sludge
Type of Work: fan fic short story
Source: CMv1 #69

Copyright 2002 Tabitha Stevens Black

Once upon a time in a land far, far away there was a soup faerie. Her name was Polly Prissy Pants, but everyone called her Miss Polly Prissy Pants. Polly owned a shop called The Sludge Machine. She had a collection of sludge proudly displayed in her shop. One day, when she was opening her shop she noticed a flaming pile of sludge next to the window.

"Why would anyone set sludge on fire?"
A voice from the corner replied, "Because, Miss Polly Prissy Pants, I don't like broccolli."
"And you set my sludge on fire because you hate broccoli?" Polly Prissy Pants put the fire out, she'd heard that voice before, but where?
"No, I set *your* sludge on fire because you don't have any cheesy poofs!" the person came out of the dark a little, but Polly was blind, so she didn't see him.
"I have cheesy Poofs!"
"Correction --- HAD!!"
"You stole my cheesy poofs?!?!?! DIE!!!"
"Miss Polly Prissy Pants, don't do it!!"

But the voice was too late, Polly already took the burnt pile of sludge and lit it on fire again and hit the person smack in the head.

"I know who you are, your that fat kid in the Cheesy Poof commercial!!"
"So I was..."
"What? -- No -- Miss Polly..... NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Noone ever saw Eric Cartman again. Miss Polly Prissy Pants eventually bought a machine that could turn anything into sludge. She had a never ending supply of sludge. Did I mention that Eric Cartman, the fatass, was never seen again?